


Tout Le Monde Voit (All the World Sees)

by dersecest



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 12:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dersecest/pseuds/dersecest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with your alcoholic binges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tout Le Monde Voit (All the World Sees)

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly vent writing tbh

It started with your alcoholic binges. You alchemized those beverages your mother loved and began to love them too. The time on the ship became fuzzy and blurred together; Kanaya tried to pull you from your drunken haze but miserably failed. When you were in a semi sober state, you could make out her babbling, begging you to stop, that the ship would land soon and the rest of the trolls and humans alike needed you. She pleaded for you to stop drinking but you didn’t.

With the fruity drinks sloshing around in your stomach, you lost interest in food. Dave would sit by you as you sipped on a martini and shove food in your direction. You pushed it away, afraid of sobering up, of facing your demons. He’d get angry, breaking his cool kid facade to yell at you, stand up and throw his chair. “Rose, pull it the fuck together!” He’d scream before storming off. You would put your head down and cry silently, alchemizing something stronger. Enough to make you forget how much you were hurting everyone.

When you started feeling the hunger pains in between drinks, you downed more alcohol. Eventually, it wasn’t enough. You laid on the hard, unforgiving floor puking up the vodka you drank only a few moments ago. You had hoped it would cause alcohol poisoning.

You slowly stopped drinking; you believed you didn’t even deserve the pleasure of being drunk. Kanaya rejoiced, Karkat could care less as long as he got some time with Kanaya, and Dave was uneasy. You locked yourself in yours and Kanaya’s chamber daily to avoid confrontations with him. You spent your days counting and making mental lists of food, curled up in a ball on the bed. It became your obsession.

Kanaya was the mother hen of the ship, tending to Terezi, Karkat, and you. She talked about Dave whenever she would see him talking to Karkat. According to her, as soon as Dave spotted her, he was gone. You wanted to worry about him but not eating was exhausting. She grabbed your wrist and fret over how thin you’ve gotten. Apparently anorexia didn’t exist in Alternia.

Kanaya left you alone and Dave appeared, his regular clothes in place of his god tier outfit. You looked terrible; you’ve barely showered over the past few weeks, too weak to pull yourself to the bathroom. You’ve only barely managed to stay alive on the food that Kanaya brings you (granted you eat about a fifth of what she brings).

He sits on the bed, staring down at you. “Rose-” he starts but chokes up. His face flushes and he turns away to slid his hands under his shades and against his eyes. He starts again, “Rose, why are you doing this to yourself?”

You struggle to sit up, your vision going black and fuzzy around the edges. “I can control this.”

“How can you control it if its killing you?” He snapped. His shoulder shook with the effort to keep his breathing even. “This is going to kill you Rose. I’ve seen it take lives, I don’t want that to happen to you.” He paused, sucking in deep breathes before continuing, “Back in middle school, there was a girl, Annette. She had moved from France and she sat alone, without food, everyday at lunch. One day, on the way back from lunch, she collapsed. She was so thin, I could hear the bones in her face crack as she hit the pavement. The teachers tried to get her to the nurses but her heart stopped in the middle of the hallway because her heart had eaten away at itself in a last ditch attempt to save itself. How fucked up is that? You don’t eat enough and your body eats everything to stay alive, even the thing that keeps it going. I don’t want that to happen to you Rose. I don’t wanna lose the last good thing I got left.”

You slowly sink back down on the bed, “I don’t want to talk.”

Dave jumped up from the bed, yelling, “You can’t just decide when you’ll talk! Kanaya doesn’t know how to help you! You won’t help yourself! I can help! Please you’re going to die in here!” Tears were streaming past his shades now.

You raise your voice, “I don’t think you understand a damn thing David Lorraine Strider. You don’t understand why I used to drink or why I don’t eat now! You don’t know anything!” You shriek the last part as Kanaya steps in, her natural auspisticism kicking in. She quickly escorts Dave out, which wasn’t much of a challenge since he dashed out of the room without much promoting.

Kanaya soothed your anger, helping you into the bathroom. She murmured, “I looked up the thing that you and Dave call ‘anorexia’.” You slid into the bathtub as the water warms up. She looks at you with pleading eyes, “Please don’t be upset with me Rose. I only want what’s best for you.”

You hiss, “You can’t make me eat.” She sighed, turning off the water and reaching for the shampoo, “I know I can’t but I’ll try to convince you.”


End file.
